tAPRIL 25, 2010 7:19 AMhttp://nerdsevolving.blogspot.co.uk/2009/08/what-black-women-were-white-women.html
tp://nerdsevolving.blogspot.co.uk/2009/08/what-black-women-were-white-women.html
tp://nerdsevolving.blogspot.co.uk/2009/08/what-black-women-were-white-women.html
One more point, I’m on a ranting rampage!
I am a bit worried about this new idea the media is promoting about the
solution to all Black women’s problems (as opposed to SELF LOVE) is interracial
dating (specifically white men). Although there are certainly Robert De Niro’s
out there, truth be told MOST white men are NOT! Most non-black men are not in
general! Because Black men hate themselves, their race, their culture and
disrespect their women/mothers does NOT mean other men do or will……..not even
for the sake of lonely Black women (as protrayed on television). It might be a
hard pill to swallow, but it is like a truth serum.
And I absolutely hate this media promotion
of Black women as ‘desperate’ undesirable women. It makes women panic, and
accept any man and let him do anything to her in the hopes that he will have
her. I think that is what is happening today with inner city young Black girls.
I can remember my mother and aunts warning me that men (speaking of ALL men)
“just wanted me for sex, and don’t be a fool and give it to them”. However
there were never any discussions about ME being TOO-GOOD for certain types of
men, me being too pretty to touch, me being a princess period (other races of
women group up hearing these types of things). It makes a big difference, it
really does!To make matters worst Black boys are not brought up to think you
are suppose to pamper and care for a women, especially their OWN women. They
only see White men (and other races) pampering their women and their daughter
and come to believe that these non-black women are the ones that deserve
RESPECT LOVE AND MARRIAGE.
michelle alston/ AKA girlfromthenc (black
woman who hates black men and angry that her white guy left with her biracial
son is now trying to save black women from being left by white men, which is
why at times, she clashes with Christelyn Karazin, she does have a profound
hatred for biracial people, goes in on light skin girls, despite having a mixed
son) Mixed folks near her should run.
A commenter responds to michelle alston/
AKA girlfromthenc
MAY 2, 2010 11:12 AM
Danila said…
girlfromthenc, I feel you in everything
you said. I don’t want to attack or offend anybody but I do get tired of
holding it all in and trying to be strong. I know this piece isn’t meant for
therapy, but I just have to get some things off my chest. So many things have
come to min as a result of this piece.
The first thing I thought about is my own
social situation. I’m 28, black female, single of course (as are most of the
black women I know around my age). I spent years pining after white men.
Finally one of them told me straight out that he was interested because he
heard black girls have “big holes”. Even the nice ones would have never brought
me home to mama. I’ve been told that I’m “too much”. I realized I could not be
compatible with them and would have a hard time trusting one. Years of exposure
to white men’s true feelings on the internet have turned me off even more.
Black women aren’t even desired in porn. Yes I have gone to porn sites and read
the racist comments on videos of black women. Even while they’re getting off
they still hate us.
Michelle Alston/ AKA
girlfromthenc/Original Swirl BabyMama mad as she is, has sense to know that
white guys are not feeling black women in millions as Christelyn Karazin makes
out in fact all this white man begging makes them look desperate hence her
routine clashes with Christelyn Karazin.
“Asian Women separated their images from that of Asian Men long ago and it has helped them tremendously. If Black Women are honest they will see that Black Men have been actively separating their image from us as well. I believe that could help black women in the long run. But not if we keep linking ourselves to them. ”
Why do we as black women need to talk about Asian women? We are not Asian and we know nothing about Asian women. We just think we do.
Your statement that “Asian Women separated their images from that of Asian Men long ago” is complete nonsense. Where did you get that information? Asians and whites have a completely different history than whites and blacks, both here in America and around the world. Asian women were never enslaved and the sexual property of white men in the New World, the way Black Women were. And even though Europeans tried to colonize Asia, they were not able to completely usurp the power of Asians in their countries, the way they have done with Africans. American whites and Europeans have never despised Asians the way they have/do blacks. In fact, many whites actually believe that Asians are intellectually superior to white people. So when you compare Asian women to Black women, you are comparing apples to oranges. And you are not living in reality.
White American men started to become interested in Asian women when our military began sending them to Asian countries. They MARRIED Asian women and brought them back to America. White men have never done the same to black women, for the most part. Although white men and Black Women have been sexually involved for hundreds of years, white men have never really been interested in MARRIAGE with Black Women. That is a simple truth that we as Black Women cannot run away from. Men propose marriage. Men decide which women are marriageable. White men have had access to us all over the world for hundreds of years and they are the ones who have destroyed our image and presented us as the least desirable women on the planet.
There is one important difference between Black Women and Asian women that no one in the IR world wants to recognize: Asian men are not rejecting Asian women for marriage the way Black Men are rejecting Black Women for marriage. Asian women do not have a 70 to 80% out-of-wedlock birth rate because their men don’t want them. Asian women are not seen as terrible mothers, the way Black Women are. Most Asian men actually prefer un-mixed Asian women. Contrast that to Black Men who tend to dislike Black Women who are (or look) mono-racially black. In short, Asian women are having no trouble getting their own men to marry them. That is why Asian women don’t have blogs complaining about how their men don’t want them and they are going to date men of other races because of this fact.
Also, the Asian population in America is MUCH smaller than the black population. So it is easier for Asian women to get white husbands because given their small numbers, there will be enough White Men who will want to marry some of them (contrary to popular belief among the BWE crowd, most Asian women are not married to white men). But are there enough white men who will marry the millions of Black Women who want marriage but can’t get it with Black Men? I don’t think so. The sad truth is, unless men of other races start abandoning their own women en masse, most BW will NOT get married because there are more marriageable women than men in every race and every age group in this country.
Black men are the most powerless and defeated men on the planet and it isn’t really helping them to separate their images from that of Black Women. And it is silly for Black Women to believe that we can separate our images from that of Black Men. In a patriarchal world, no group of women can successfully separate their image from that of their men. Men are the ones who elevate the group and the status of the women in a group is directly linked to the status of the men. Like it or not, many white men blame Black Women for the crime and social problems in the black community; when they see a black male criminal, they assume he has a black mother. White conservatives use images of black baby mama “welfare queens” to get support for cutting social programs. The truth is that we as black women are at the bottom of the social hierarchy because black men are at the bottom, just as white women are at the top because white men are at the top.
Having said all of this, I am definitely for IR marriages and I myself date only white men. But I am not going to pretend that IR dating is as easy for Black Women as it is for women of other races. It isn’t. There is a difference between DATING and MARRIAGE and dating does not invariably lead to marriage. And right now, all we have are blogs by Black Women encouraging Black Women to pursue/date White Men. All the burden and responsibility of IR dating is placed on Black Women. If a Black Women is not having success dating IR, it is her own fault and she needs to change something about herself. And even more ridiculous is that most of the popular BWE bloggers are not married to white men. They hide behind their computers and tell Black Women how much white men want to marry us.
Until white men(and white women) start encouraging white men to choose Black Women over other races of women, Black Women will not be able to rely on white men as marriage partners, no matter how many books BLACK people write encouraging Black Women to chase white men. I don’t care how many IR success stories you read about or how many photos of Black Women /White Men that the IR BWE bloggers post, the reality is that Black Women and White Men are still not getting married in significant numbers. They are dating and having a lot of sex, as is evidenced by the increasing numbers of swirling baby mamas with mixed race babies. White men choose us last for marriage and yet we have the most blogs and books praising White Men. There is something very wrong with that picture.
Feb 17, 2015 @ 08:07:06