“Asian Women
separated their images from that of Asian Men long ago and it has helped them
tremendously. If Black Women are honest they will see that Black Men have been actively
separating their image from us as well. I believe that could help black women in the
long run. But not if we keep linking ourselves to them. ”
Why do
we as black women need to talk about Asian women? We are not Asian and we know
nothing about Asian women. We just think we do.
Your
statement that “Asian Women separated their images from that of Asian Men long ago” is complete
nonsense. Where did you get that information? Asians and whites have a
completely different history than whites and blacks, both here in America and
around the world. Asian women were never enslaved and the sexual property of
white men in the New World, the way BW were. And even though Europeans tried to
colonize Asia, they were not able to completely usurp the power of Asians in
their countries, the way they have done with Africans. American whites and
Europeans have never despised Asians the way they have/do blacks. In fact, many
whites actually believe that Asians are intellectually superior to white
people. So when you compare Asian women to Black women, you are comparing
apples to oranges. And you are not living in reality.
White
American men started to become interested in Asian women when our military
began sending them to Asian countries. They MARRIED Asian women and brought
them back to America. White men have never done the same to black women, for
the most part. Although white men and Black Women have been sexually involved for
hundreds of years, white men have never really been interested in MARRIAGE with
Black Women. That is a simple truth that we as Black Women cannot run away from. Men propose
marriage. Men decide which women are marriageable. White men have had access to
us all over the world for hundreds of years and they are the ones who have
destroyed our image and presented us as the least desirable women on the
planet.
There
is one important difference between Black Women and Asian women that no one in the IR
world wants to recognize: Asian men are not rejecting Asian women for marriage
the way BM are rejecting BW for marriage. Asian
women do not have a 70 to 80% out-of-wedlock birth rate because their men don’t
want them. Asian women are not seen as terrible mothers, the way BW are. Most Asian men actually prefer un-mixed
Asian women. Contrast that to BM who tend to dislike BW who are (or look)
mono-racially black. In short, Asian women are having no trouble getting their
own men to marry them. That is why Asian women don’t have blogs complaining
about how their men don’t want them and they are going to date men of other
races because of this fact.
Also,
the Asian population in America is MUCH smaller than the black population. So
it is easier for Asian women to get white husbands because given their small
numbers, there will be enough WM who will want to marry some of them (contrary
to popular belief among the BWE crowd, most Asian women are not married to
white men). But are there enough white men who will marry the millions of BW
who want marriage but can’t get it with BM? I don’t think so. The sad truth is,
unless men of other races start abandoning their own women en masse, most BW
will NOT get married because there are more marriageable women than men in
every race and every age group in this country.
Black
men are the most powerless and defeated men on the planet and it isn’t really
helping them to separate their images from that of Black Women. And it is silly for Black Women
to believe that we can separate our images from that of Black Men. In a patriarchal
world, no group of women can successfully separate their image from that of
their men. Men are the ones who elevate the group and the status of the women
in a group is directly linked to the status of the men. Like it or not, many
white men blame Black Women for the crime and social problems in the black community;
when they see a black male criminal, they assume he has a black mother. White
conservatives use images of black baby mama “welfare queens” to get support for
cutting social programs. The truth is that we as black women are at the bottom
of the social hierarchy because black men are at the bottom, just as white
women are at the top because white men are at the top.
Having
said all of this, I am definitely for IR marriages and I myself date only white
men. But I am not going to pretend that IR dating is as easy for BW as it is
for women of other races. It isn’t. There is a difference between DATING and
MARRIAGE and dating does not invariably lead to marriage. And right now, all we have are blogs by BW encouraging BW
to pursue/date WM. All the burden and responsibility of IR dating is placed on
BW. If a BW is not having success dating IR, it is her own fault and she needs
to change something about herself. And even more ridiculous is that most of the
popular BWE bloggers are not married to white men. They hide behind their
computers and tell BW how much white men want to marry us.
Until
white men(and white women) start encouraging white men to choose BW over other
races of women, BW will not be able to rely on white men as marriage partners,
no matter how many books BLACK people write encouraging BW to chase white men.
I don’t care how many IR success stories you read about or how many photos of
BW/WM that the IR BWE bloggers post, the reality is that BW and WM are still
not getting married in significant numbers. They are
dating and having a lot of sex, as is evidenced by the increasing numbers of
swirling baby mamas with mixed race babies. White men choose us last for
marriage and yet we have the most blogs and books praising WM. There is
something very wrong with that picture.
Feb 17, 2015 @ 08:07:06